So, this quarter I’m in a Philosophy class and I’d like to share one of the readings with you.
“The Enchiridion” by Epictetus
The reading can be found here. I’ll be posting lovely photos throughout in order to inspire.
In essence Epictetus is trying to better your spirit so everything he talks about is meant for you to take in and use in your daily life. I think this is a noble pursuit. Have you set out to use philosophy to better the happiness of mankind lately?
To quote my philosophy teacher (we’ll call him Mr. So-Crates ala Bill and Ted) Epictetus begins by providing a “basis for all that follows” with “The world has two kinds of things: the things we can control and the things we cannot. As long as we keep this distinction in mind and live our lives accordingly, we will be at peace.” Change what you can and leave everything else alone. You can’t change it so why let it bother you? Why let those thing make you unhappy?
"Epictetus"
Epictetus has examples in each of these categories. Things that we can change like thoughts, judgments, assumptions, opinions and what not. In the second things that we can’t change or influence like possessions, our bodies, and others minds. You can’t control what others do, think, or who they are.
"Waiter made a crane from a straw paper"
Let’s say for example that I’m at work (see post about my job here) at the daycare. If a parent doesn't like what is being fed to their child from the daily menu and lashes out at me by being angry and screaming at me. I feel like I’m being attacked and I end up getting upset and usually crying. I don’t take other’s anger well.
To put it in schematic form:
Cause (angry parent, screaming) à Effect (sad, crying, upset)
This is what we all THINK is happening but really it isn't. According to Epictetus this is how we ruin the schemes of our lives. Everything I’m feeling in this situation (sad/crying/upset) isn't the result of the parent’s screaming. It is caused by my thoughts and my thoughts alone.
New form!
Cause (angry parent, screaming)--> assumptions and thoughts--> Effect (sad and upset)
There. Doesn't this make more sense? How could someone’s raised voice CAUSE me to cry? I’m crying because I think they hate me. I think I will get fired. I feel bad for the baby. I have deep seated emotional issues with the sound OF screaming. Those are the reasons I get upset. I will STEW on this interaction for sometimes DAYS.
The parent was reassured that she could have a menu beforehand and approve any foods she wanted her child to eat. I on the other hand felt like this person didn't trust me now. I made a lot of assumptions and generally just made myself feel bad for no conceivable reason.
This is something that could have been avoided completely. I could still feel comfortable around this parent because she probably doesn't think about this AT ALL.
This made me unhappy. It really shouldn't have made me unhappy. I should have been able to assure her that steps would be taken. The End. Let it goooooooo LET IT GOOO *sings from Frozen* (that dates this post but whatever… it’s such a great song and it applies.)
"Outside my work at night"
I’m not going to lie and say it won’t be hard for me. It is a work-in-progress that I have been working on already before reading Epictetus’s philosophy. This is another reason why I think it has such a ring of truth to it.
Instead of automatically blaming myself for not thinking of all possible scenarios I could have thought something like “maybe she is just afraid that her baby will eat something she doesn't want him to. Maybe she wants him to be vegan. Maybe she is just having a bad day. Maybe she doesn't feel like a good parent.”
Like Mr. So-Crates says, “The greatest challenge in the application of stoicism is overcoming our habits of thought and belief. The fortunate among us are forever taking their lemons and making lemonade. The rest of us struggle, but that’s ok: making stoicism work takes practice.
Your first response might be to react negatively”—“but remember: you learned that reaction, so you can unlearn it.”
"My Valentine tulips"
So, go forth and better yourselves in every way that is possible. Do not try and change things that can’t be changed. Take baby steps with me.
Thank you so much for following along!
